People Discuss the Type of Parents Who Kick Their Kids Out Once They Turn 18

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Emmy Pratt • Writer and Editor
Jun 3, 2023 1:00 PM EDT

Parenting is tough. Parents must make tough decisions about raising and interacting with their kids throughout their lives. Parenting doesn't end when a child turns 18; It's a job that lasts forever, even when your kids are long out of the house. Unfortunately, some parents want to finish their parenting obligations when their kids turn 18, leading to trauma and family disintegration. 

Don't get me wrong: I know that sometimes, parents have to put their foot down. I don't think unemployed adult children should live with their parents for years unless there is an extenuating circumstance. But I think we can all agree that kicking a kid out as soon as they turn 18 is cruel and uncalled for, no matter what. 18-year-olds are still teenagers, even if they're legally adults, and kicking them out because they're technically grown is a huge red flag on the part of the parents. The subreddit r/askreddit came together to discuss the damaging effects of parents kicking their kids out when they turn 18 and the factors that can lead to such an outcome.  

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  • 01
    Font - ? r/AskReddit u/zeg685. 4d What do you think of the parents that kick their kids out as soon as they have turned 18 years old?
    via u/zeg685
  • 02
    Font - Turbulent-Intern1774 3d My mum kicked me out at 16, When I got advice to go on a independent youth benefit, they had to contact my mum to basically say she didn't want me. She turned round and said that I can come back whenever I want. So I was denied financial support. Then I found out she had moved to another Island. I don't talk to her much. Reply 902 ..
    via u/Turbulent-Intern1774
  • 03
    Font - mylovepetera • 4d Dad didn't want to have kids. Once we were 7 or 8 years old, my mother pretended to still like us but she didn't seem to (had more independent personalities). I believe that many past generations had children more out of obligation than out of a genuine desire to be parents for the rest of their lives. ... Reply 3.3k
    via u/mylovepetera
  • 04
    Font - sticky-stix 3d ● That's an absolute fact. Not just having children out of obligation, but marrying the first person you can out of obligation, to have said children. This person who you may not even like, making children you don't even really want. (source: my parents) 41.4K
    via u/sticky-stix
  • 05
    Font - 1pencil 3d Welp... I was kicked out at 16 and again at 18. My mother had no ambitions for work and decided the low to zero income way of life was a good choice to raise three kids. (Addictions and mental disorders ofc). Anyhow, she demanded 500 dollars per month from me, while I was in highschool. At the time, a full time job at minimum wage would net you about 300 bi weekly. Needless to say I first had to drop out of school to woro full time to pay her that.
    via u/1pencil
  • 06
    Font - Eventually I got back into school, cut back on (and quit) jobs until I was part time and could actually attend school. This cause money to stop coming in. This caused her to be angry. This caused me to become homeless. So now when she asks for help, or simply wants to talk to me, and I dont reply... Well, there you go. (There were many other things involved, but if you are a dick to your kids, they will be a dick to you when they are adults. Rightfully so.) (Yes, I am now a parent, and no
    via u/1pencil
  • 07
    Font - exboi. 3d It always astounds me how some parents treat their kids like tenants, then try to casually call them up when they're independent. Nobody wants to keep in touch with their imperialistic landlord ... 43.1k
    via u/exboi
  • 08
    Font - InkyMistakes. 3d It's worse when you have a sibling who doesn't get that treatment but you do...not only am I paying rent what I can barely afford to but now I know they have a favorite and its not me. Edit: thanks, some time has passed since that all happened but only know am I seeing and understanding how my upbringing really was versus the perspective I had when I was stuck in it. Learning the abuse wasn't normal is tough. 923
    via u/InkyMistakes
  • 09
    Font - mongolianshortbread • 3d Ouch I relate. When I was 17 my mother wanted £300/month in "rent". Minimum wage for under 18s at the time was a whole £4/hr. That's 75 hours a month, while I was still in education. At the same time, she completely drained the inheritance I was left by my grandparents that I couldn't access until I was 21. Meanwhile my siblings got their inheritance in full and continue to live at home without paying "rent". Really did make me wonder what on earth I did wrong. Ma
    via u/mongolianshortbrea
  • 10
    Font - Abyssal_Imp. 3d Was one of those kids, haven't spoken to my "parents" in over 10 years. Have no intention on speaking to them any time in the future either ... Reply 10.9k
    via u/Abyssal_Imp
  • 11
    Font - A_Doormat 3d ● lol my roommate was kicked out of his house by his mom when he was 18 by being driven to a gas station a fair distance away and.....just left there. On his birthday. He found a way home to find all his stuff on the lawn, the locks on the doors changed, the doorbell disabled, all the blinds and stuff closed. Mother hiding within. He lived with his dad long enough to afford his own place and peaced out.
    via u/A_Doormat
  • 12
    Font - Years later he gets a text from his mom who found his number by asking around. Basically said "Hello is this Jim? It's your mom, just wanted to catch up" and the ice cold mother fucker responds with "I don't know. If you're looking for him, maybe check the gas station where you last saw him. Maybe he's still there." and that was the last thing he said lol. Apparently she was all pissed off and tried to get at him through his dad, but the dad was like "You dumped him off at a fucking gas s
    via u/A_Doormat
  • 13
    Font - He didn't appear too fucked up over it, but I think it left its marks. He moved around a lot, never bought himself a lot of stuff because he said he likes to keep it light so he can up and be gone in an hour kind of thing. Which he did, when he moved out he basically packed a large suitcase and a knapsack and was on the bus to the next place. G 4.9k
    via u/A_Doormat
  • 14
    Font - Galaxyhiker42 • 3d 1 Award As someone who got kicked out a few days before my 18th birthday. The traveling light is a trauma response. It took me a long time to get over that. From about 18-25 I didn't want anything that could not fit in my car.
    via u/Galaxyhiker42
  • 15
    Font - You started off kind of wanting to buy things for comfort... like a mattress etc... but then you have to move again.. and now you're out 100 bucks for a mattress etc etc etc. Edit: Wasn't expecting this to get as many upvotes and attention. I'm glad a lot of you all have also gotten therapy etc. This entire post was definitely an unexpected trigger tonight. 42.4k
    via u/Galaxyhiker42
  • 16
    Rectangle - Any_Monitor5224 • 3d 2 Awards Same. I cut all ties. They both died young. My life was rough for a while but it all turned out ok. And now I'm the adult and my oldest is 20. He's still at home rent free while he pursues his career and education. I'll do the same for the other 4. We bought a new house when my oldest was 19 and we specifically made sure he had a room where he could feel comfortable to stay here and have his own space. ... 42.8k
    via u/Any_Monitor5224
  • 17
    Font - Ponk Bonk 3d ● 1 Award Brother was out before 18 and I was out at 18, and my dad didn't even have a funeral. Should tell you about all you need to know about parents who kick their kids out asap. Reply 12.6k
    via u/Ponk_Bonk
  • 18
    Font - Fzero45 3d ● I'm not even sure if my father is alive, or dead. I could probably find out, but I really don't care enough to check. ... 4.4k
    via u/Fzero45
  • 19
    Font - Frankie Spankie • 3d Kicking out your kid as soon as you're legally allowed to do so tells me you wanted them out of the house even earlier and the only reason you didn't do it is because you didn't want to be arrested. ... Reply 10.7k
    via u/Frankie__Spankie
  • 20
    Rectangle - Danamite85 • 3d I think people who do this never actually wanted to be parents in the first place 3.9k
    via u/Danamite85
  • 21
    Human body - expedience 3d ● Which is crazy because, that's an option. 2.7k
    via u/expedience
  • 22
    Font - bolshethicccc • 3d 13 Awards I was 17 a semester away from graduating, my evangelical parents found some weed in my brothers room, I woke up early on a school morning to the sound of my father angrily throwing mine and my brothers things out of the house and out into the yard. He and I spent the next 5 years homeless, at best sleeping on a friends floor, at worst sleeping on concrete sidewalks exposed to the elements and the worst in people. I'm 34 now and off the streets almost a decade
    via u/bolshethicccc
  • 23
    Font - was probably the most painful thing I ever had to absorb and internalize. I think some people are even potentially able to self sustain in that situation albeit a very small percentage, but to shelter your kids completely and not give them the skills to survive and then abandon them is abuse in my eyes. ... Reply 16k
    via u/bolshethicccc
  • 24
    Font - vanorah 3d That's one of the most cold and heartless things I've read on Reddit. Your brother did so not deserve this... Neither of you did. I hope life is better... 45.2k
    via u/vanorah
  • 25
    Font - Dougeefargo . 4d I can't imagine having to deal with that. My Dad lost a place to live at his parents' house for the summer his last year of college and luckily my Mom's parents let him stay in their basement. From what my parents told me my Dad was devastated by this. My parents' rule was we would have a place to stay without paying rent as long as we were in school or after we graduated while we were getting our first job. I really appreciated their support and not needing to worry abou
    via u/Dougeefargo
  • 26
    Font - SororitySue • 3d . Boomer parent here. Our two sons were welcome to live at home as long as they wanted as long as they were going to school and/or working. My oldest is 31 and married. He lived at home for 9 months after he graduated from college, then moved in with his now-wife after she finished school. Our younger son is 27. He flunked out of college, spun his wheels for a bit and got sidetracked by the pandemic. He got off his butt, went to community college, got his associates and w
    via u/SororitySue
  • 27
    Font - troll--boy my bf got kicked out at 18 and his parents literally said to his face "since you were an accident and we didn't mean to have you, we need you out of the house now so we can actually relax like we used to before you were born." 4d ● anyway I think extremely badly of them Reply 16k
    via u/troll--boy
  • 28
    Font - shamalonight. 4d I was one of those kids. The rule in my house was you were out by 18 unless you were still in high school. In that case, you were out on graduation day. I actually turned 18 before graduation, but my mother was exceptionally bitter by that time, so I was forced out before graduation anyway. It was an odd circumstance where I had all the credits to graduate early, but my junior year the state legislature passed a law requiring some civics credits to graduate. As a result I
    via u/shamalonight
  • 29
    Font - The reason for my mother's bitterness was mostly due to my father. My father's life was one of tragedy that created the unfaithful man that he was. Generally he was well liked among his peers and acquaintances, humorous and very intelligent, but he was a lousy father who was only around to sleep. There wasn't much talking to be had with him. My mother was in a constant state of rage, and I feared her coming home in the afternoons. Her temper was quick, and she would grab whatever implemen
    via u/shamalonight
  • 30
    Font - Our relationship was extremely strained from that point forward, even until the end when she died of the complications of dementia. On that day I gave her a beautiful death she didn't deserve. On my phone is a voice mail she sent me regarding a family heirloom called a bean pot. How I acquired it is another story. Anyway, in this recording she is upset that an Ambulance service sent her a bill for $900, and she would have to confiscate the bean pot as payment since I wasn't around to take
    via u/shamalonight
  • 31
    Font - The four eldest had a somewhat close relationship having grown up during a time when my parents were still together and my mother had not yet gone full blown insane, but us three younger siblings were raised after my parents' divorce when my mother was a raging lunatic. We were too traumatized to develop bonds with each other. These days, the remaining three eldest live with a degree of guilt for having left us two remaining youngest behind, and they try to be supportive, but it is as if
    via u/shamalonight
  • 32
    Font - SupremeCultist. 3d 3 Awards A girl from my class came home after our grad night party to find 2 garbage bags with her stuff in it. They didnt even tie it so when it rained that night it filled up the bags with water and destroyed her laptop, pictures and clothing. Her parents showed up to her house last year on independence day because their house burned down from a firework mishap. Im told the husband just asked them to leave. Oh i should add they didnt have insurence on the home so they
    via u/SupremeCultist
  • 33
    Font - Khaos_Gorvin • 4d Great candidates years. for a nursing home in their later ... Reply 8.5k
    via u/Khaos_Gorvin

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